The Art of Gratitude: Psychiatrist Phil Stutz on Why It’s a Creative Act (Plus His 30-Second Tool for Cultivating It)

One of the greatest tragedies of being human is how we get stuck in our minds. We become prisoners to the fallacy that our thoughts are absolute truths. "This thinking can be like being in a trap," says Phil Stutz. "It tells you, at the end of the day, how to function, and it gives you the feeling that you have no other choice—and the result of that is people live these very small lives."

Stutz has been in the business of helping people break through this trap for four decades. As a revered therapist and bestselling author, he's created actionable tools to help people move through pain and adversity—two "guarantees of life," he says—and toward a more free way of living. (His 2012 global bestseller The Tools, co-authored with Barry Michels, continues to fly off shelves, as do his subsequent books.)

What sets Stutz's work apart is how tangible and immediate it is. He valorizes not a saccharine positive approach but one rooted in faith, possibility, and human capability. This is evident in his tool for cultivating gratitude, which he shares with us here. Gratefulness is a creative act," he says, that takes intention and action. When we do this, the result transcends. "It becomes almost a bridge," he says, "into something that's so much bigger than any human being."

Our Thinking Minds Can Get the Best of Us

Every one of us battles with 'Part X'—what Stutz calls our inner adversary. Part X makes us think we can't, shouldn't, and are powerless, and we take its message as objective truth. "And the funny thing is, it's almost never true," he says.

Stutz first tested his Part X theory decades ago as a young therapist. Starting with his practice, he'd fret he wouldn't get any new clients. He began to write down his fears and what Part X was saying. Then, weeks later, he would write down what happened. "And what actually happened was not that I didn't get any clients. What happened was I got more clients," he says. Comparing his inner adversary—which he took as truth in the moment—to what really unfolded was clarifying. It shed light on his theory that we all have an inner adversary and, even more importantly, we hold the power to move beyond it.

The Transformative Power of Faith

One of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves is change our feeling about our thinking, believes Stutz. And nothing does this better and frees us more than faith. "Faith ultimately is the antidote to the thinking mind," he says. Faith can't be proven, necessarily. And it often can be irrational. That is okay, adds Stutz. "Faith has nothing to do with reality one way or the other. But faith is something you have for one reason, and one reason only: It connects you to something bigger than yourself."

Tapping into the World of Goodness

Life is hard and filled with adversity and pain. That is a truth for every person. But we're also being showered with positive things every second, Stutz tells us. "If you only knew what was going on in your lungs right now, as well as your nervous and GI systems, The latest discovery of antibodies and vaccines. This new screen on my computer that a thousand engineers worked years to develop. It goes on and on. There are so many things pouring down. That's called a world of goodness." The tragedy is, however, that people don't know how to find this world of goodness. Instead, we get stuck in our minds. That is precisely why we need a tool to propel us to see all that is good.  

The Tool: Tapping into the Grateful Flow

So, how can we find the world of goodness? And how can we change our feeling about our thinking? By being active about it, says Stutz. The key is tapping into gratitude, or what he calls "the grateful flow."

Here's how to do it. Close your eyes. For about 30 seconds, say aloud a handful of things you are grateful for in that moment. The smaller the things are, the better, says Stutz. "By example, I would say, 'I'm grateful I had a good lunch. I'm grateful for my car that's working. I'm grateful I have a nice piece of furniture to sit on.'" Put your energy into saying each thing you are grateful for, he adds. "This is a creative act, as strange as it might sound," says Stutz. "Put your will into saying these things." By reciting small things you are grateful for in the moment, you actively anchor yourself in immediate reality. You are also choosing your thoughts instead of being passive about them and letting them take over.

After you've said what you're grateful for, stop talking. The goal now is to feel what you just said and experience an energy rising in you. That is the grateful flow. "There is a force coming up, and everything will seem to open up, and you'll be very calm, and then you'll experience this flowing goodness—the world of goodness," says Stutz. "It's pure love that can't be really described. And your job is to keep the flow going."

The Work Is All that Matters

Stutz says he uses the tool the second he experiences anxiety. "I'm not changing my life situation. But It's like I'm providing a conduit, a bridge into another world that's not made from bricks but of consciousness," he says. He suggests using the tool often. He adds that it will work sometimes and not others, and that is okay. Do it again and again. "All that matters is that you're putting in the work. It's the work that God wants to see. And the more it works, the more you'll look forward to the next time you use the grateful flow."

"This tool dismantles the basic human fallacy that we always want to be right," he continues. "That's why I say it's a tool of freedom."

Phil Stutz is the bestselling co-author of The Tools, Coming Alive, and Lessons for Living and the focus of the Netflix documentary "Stutz" directed by Jonah Hill. He received his MD from NYU and lives and practices in Los Angeles. Stutz has a new book coming out this spring TRUE AND FALSE MAGIC: A Tools Protocol, a book-workbook hybrid aimed to help people access the power of the unconscious, which he wrote in partnership with author Elise Loehnen.