Regaining Your Personal Power

I have been writing about the gratitude I have for the women in my life for years. They have played a huge part in my success and are part of my own motivation that has kept me consistently going. Their words of encouragement, long talks, and ability to bring out the strength within my soul through my most challenging of days have truly helped shape me. It is why I made it my life's mission to always honor them, be there for them, and make sure their voices are always heard. When my two nieces were born, it ignited an even greater sense of purpose within me to be a man of quality and stand up for women's equality. This past year, my husband and I met a new friend since moving to Arizona who I will call 'Brenda.” Her real name and identity will need to remain private due to legalities and a very unfair nondisclosure agreement. Brenda was introduced to us through a mutual friend who I have known for over a decade. I immediately connected with Brenda because she brought such a ray of sunshine to our circle of friends. Her contagious smile and calming energy were so refreshing, and I am grateful that we developed a trusting bond. As we got to know each other, Brenda began to share with me that she had been down a road many women have experienced in the workplace; sexism, double standards, etc. Brenda grew up in a loving home with two parents that provided and cared for her. As a little girl, she always wanted to work in journalism. The idea of educating, informing, having a sense of belonging, and community attracted her to the business of local news. She landed her first job in college as a newsroom production assistant. This later grew into a writing position and producing role. Brenda's drive and determination led to multiple awards and ultimately to a job in California. It is here where Brenda faced sexist hurdles which ultimately made her feel powerless. There was inappropriate behaviors, and Brenda often felt like she was not being heard as were her male colleagues. In other words, she experienced a double standard when it came to expectations and outcome. She felt defeated and went into a depression of not feeling good enough, or like her thoughts mattered. The unfairness of her situation ate at her for months. Brenda finally gained her footing in Arizona and went on to get her life and confidence back on track. Below are some of the tools Brenda used to find her path to power again. We hope it brings some guidance to many of you:

• Conquering Codependency. Brenda's feelings of being manipulated triggered her to become codependent at her job, with colleagues, and bosses. Her fear of disappointing and having that 'need to please” consumed her. Brenda's self-value was based on whether she was told she did a perfect job or received some kind of acknowledgment. She went on to join a co-dependent women's support group and started consistent counseling. CoDA.org is a good place to start for anyone looking for help.

• Stand Your Truth. I will never know firsthand the emotional experience Brenda went through regarding workplace sexism; however, I do know that nothing is more powerful than your own truth. For Brenda, she learned to find power by knowing that her truth could never really be silenced.

• Find Your Tribe. Longtime friends and family can be key to healing after going through difficult times. Surround yourself with people that understand you and that have integrity. When finding a new job, it is important to keep your antennae up, do your research, and make sure that you are entering a work culture where everyone is heard and treated with respect. Align your values and never back down to compromise your morals. As Brenda put it, 'It may take time, but you will find your tribe, and when you do, you will feel so grateful. There is a place for everyone.”

• Have Faith. You must have faith in some higher power because when you lose yourself through life's most challenging moments, you need to know that there's a force that will help guide you back.

• Inspire & Teach Others. Brenda encourages women to find a personal outlet to express themselves in the healthiest ways possible. There is always someone willing to listen, and there is something powerful when it also provides inspiration and wisdom.

I truly believe there's a need for equality and stronger leadership training within the workplace. There are many large companies out there that still have the power to silence women. Here's something important to remember: if we see something, we should say something; if we hear something, we should say something. Because we never know when someone is in need of a voice or simply just a friend.