Loren Ridinger Is Living Her Best Life After Losing Her Greatest Love. Her Story Can Help You Overcome Challenges, Too
This is the first article in a 4-part series on heartbreak and healing, and how to learn from life’s transitions, challenges, successes and failures. The series will culminate in our special coverage of Maria Shriver’s new book, I Am Maria, which you can preorder HERE.
For Loren Ridinger, the unconscionable happened in August 2022: the sudden death of her husband, JR—the man with whom she spent more than three decades.
“I looked up to him,” Loren tells us. “I admired him. He was not just my lover, not just my husband, but my best friend, my coach, and my mentor.”
The Ridingers were a match bonded in love, respect, and a mutual affinity for lifting others. Together, they co-pioneered Market America, a globally successful marketing system that supports entrepreneurs. They encouraged those around them, from their daughter and grandchildren to their employees and legions of friends. Life was abundant—and it all crashed that fretful day JR died.
Yet Loren will not let JR’s loss define a path toward darkness. In her NYT bestselling book Scrambled or Sunny-Side Up?: Living Your Best Life After Losing Your Greatest Love, she tells of her self-discovery and seeing the light through the darkest grief. The book explores what the deepest cuts of loss can often teach us: never to take for granted a moment with a loved one, however small it may seem, and to grab this life with both hands. With her trademark warmth, she offers The Sunday Paper more of what she has learned.
“No one should have to go through what I did to draw upon the experience [of loss] and be able to apply it to their lives,” she tells us, adding that she hopes the book will help readers “reshape how we value people and interact with the most important relationships in our lives.”
Appreciate the Small Moments
Loren and JR spent thirty-six years together, and in all that time, eating breakfast together was essential. "Every day, all these years, it was the same question: 'Hey, baby— scrambled or sunny side up?'" Loren recalls what JR asked her. Breakfast was special, but she admits she lost sight of its deeper meaning as time went on. "After 10 years, I was like, 'Come on, J, it's your stomach! What do you want?'" She now understands those small questions and simple moments were everything. "How long would it have taken to say 'scrambled or sunny side-up'? We can get so frustrated with those we love for no reason whatsoever, and we don't see it. It's so important to see that it wasn't about the eggs; it was about he cared about what I thought— I don't want somebody else not to see that [in their lives]."
Always Pay Attention
Loren says that JR knew how much she loved him. "That was never an issue." But she admits she failed to see his love language—touch and approval—when he was alive. "It was him asking me how he wanted his eggs or what color shirt he should wear—and I regret I didn't see that. We're always so busy with our lives."
We are human, and we make mistakes, she continues. The important lesson here, however, is to be present as much as possible and take in what our loved ones are telling us, often in small ways. "We're often too busy to pay attention to those we love around us," adds Loren. "So, that's what I'm focused on now."
Honor the Longform and Analog
JR wrote Loren love letters—thousands upon thousands. "It's such a beautiful thing for somebody to do," she says, "Where is the art of writing anymore? People don't even hardly take the time."
Loren used to joke with JR, saying, 'Why are you writing me? I'm right here in front of you." But JR told her the letters were important because he didn't want to misconstrue any words. He wanted his truth and love for her to be clear. "And it was the biggest lesson of my life to know that we communicate differently. And so now my appreciation for writers is all so much more because it's such a beautiful gift that is sadly no longer given."
Know There Will Be Sunshine Again
"The first two chapters are incredibly hard to get through," says Loren. "But then, if you look close enough, there's this sunshine that starts to peek through. And there can be sunshine that peeks through, even if somebody, like me, lost the most incredible thing they love more than life."
You cannot teach someone how to overcome grief, Loren adds. "It will exist forever." But we can learn to appreciate the small moments, tell our loved ones how we feel, and find our purpose. "We can come out of something like this and say, 'How can I reshape my life right now? And how can I deeply interact with the most important relationships around me?'"
Loren Ridinger is an entrepreneur, motivational speaker, philanthropist, and businesswoman. As CEO of Market America Worldwide | SHOP.COM, a global e-commerce and product brokerage company she co-founded with her late husband, JR Ridinger, Loren has been instrumental in redefining the landscape of online retail. Learn more and follow her at @lorenridinger
Please note that we may receive affiliate commissions from the sales of linked products.
