Peggy Fitzsimmons Says We're All Hoarders and It's Holding Us Back. Here’s How to Declutter Your Life Once and for All

After a dizzying 2022, the New Year has arrived. Time to define how we want to move through the world in 2023. If you long for more clarity, more peace, more feeling at home in yourself, and more feeling at home in your home, then it’s time to let go of some clutter. The best way to empower yourself in the New Year is to throw a  2023 release party.

Hoarding has become a dirty word, but it simply means amassing things for preservation or future use. This is what we do. We accumulate inner and outer things that we think serve us, and we hold on for dear life.  Physical clutter is the most obvious, but we also hang on to mental, emotional, energetic, and relationship clutter.  I hate to break the news to you, but we’re all hoarders!

Hoarding is like taking a deep breath, then holding it and holding it, refusing to exhale.  If we won’t let go, we stop the natural flow of taking in what we need right now and releasing what we don’t. If we won’t let go, we can’t share our resources with those that need them—think of the trees that depend on our exhale for life-giving carbon dioxide. And if we won’t let go, we can’t make space for new breath.

Everything we hold onto carries weight. It might be mental weight, like the weight of jealous thoughts; or physical weight, like the weight of the old set of encyclopedias in the basement; or emotional weight, like the weight of conflict with a family member.  Everything we hold onto has a cost.  It might be an energetic cost, like the cost of keeping up with society’s ever-speeding treadmill; or an emotional cost, like the cost of spending too much time in sadness; or a financial cost, like the cost of having to wash the car every week because it doesn’t fit in the jam-packed garage.

And everything we hold onto requires energy from us. It might be mental energy, like the amount it takes to stay prepared for the next bad thing that is sure to happen; or emotional energy, like the kind it takes to feel resentful all the time; or physical energy, like the effort it takes to keep all the tchotchkes on the bookshelf dust-free.  Everything we hold onto that doesn’t serve us ultimately leaves us drained, overwhelmed, and disconnected from our spiritual nature.

Our soul is inherently free and our true nature is love.  Our soul knows the truth that “I am enough, you are enough, and there is enough.”  But we also have an ego, and that aspect of ourselves hypnotizes us with the fear-based lie “I am not enough, you are not enough, and there is not enough.” Clutter is the ego made visible.

Decluttering is an opportunity to look at everything in our lives and determine if it is essential—if it is of our essence. The path to true empowerment—claiming who we truly are as human beings and serving our love to the world in our unique ways—requires us to let go of what no longer serves. So the big question to ask yourself in 2023 is:  My stuff or my soul?  Here are some practical tips to get the release party started!

FIRST, HONESTY

Take a pre-party walk-through of your home. Imagine you are seeing it for the first time.  Enter the front door with eyes wide open and your spider sense tingling.  Observe with curiosity, rather than judgment. Your stuff may be scattered about in full view or hiding in turquoise bins in the office, vacuum-sealed bags under your bed, and fancy cabinets in the garage. If you really look, you’ll be shocked by how many books and suitcases and sneakers and kitchen gadgets and t-shirts and tools and dog toys and skin care products live in your home. You’ll recognize that you have more stuff than one person or family could ever use. And you might even glimpse the irony that in your house full of things, in all that abundance, you feel a sense of too much but somehow not enough.

As you move through your space, tune in and trust what you perceive.  Sense the areas that feel weighed down, stagnant, or neglected. Notice the places that feel light, serene, clean, or energizing.  Imagine water flowing through the space to identify where clutter may be inhibiting the flow of energy.  (Hint: those boxes stacked in the corner of the guest room, that stuff on the floor under your desk, and the comforters crammed onto the shelf in the linen closet all obstruct flow).  Acknowledge any truths you’ve been denying, such as the dread you feel every time you pass the stuffed hall closet or the way your heart sinks when you enter the garage.

Since your house is a metaphor for yourself, get curious about what each space reflects about you.  For example, what you observe in your kitchen can tell you something about how you nourish yourself. Are your cupboards packed so full you don’t know what’s in them? Does expired food live on your pantry shelves?  Is your fridge mostly empty except for some wilted lettuce and a six-pack of Diet Coke? Our physical environment is always speaking to us and about us.  Listen to what it’s saying.

RELY ON THE MAGIC OF 10 PERCENT

Decluttering is an invitation to bring ourselves and our homes into present time by keeping only the things we REALLY love and TRULY need. The magic of 10 percent helps us release clutter with ease, because it keeps our egos feeling safe and creates space for new energy to flow. As you declutter, look to release 10% of the things that don’t serve your soul and add 10 percent of what does. For example, if you’re decluttering your closet, find one shirt out of every 10 that you can part with. Or add 10 percent more beauty to your closet by folding your sweaters neatly or by lining up your shoes. Manageable, right? Small changes like this can make a big difference.

The magic of 10 percent works in our inner and outer environments. Here are some examples.  Release 10 percent of your self-loathing thoughts and add 10 percent more self-loving thoughts. Spend 10 percent less time on the couch and 10 percent more time moving your body.  Drop your complaints by 10 percent and up your compliments by 10 percent. Reduce screen time by 10 percent and increase nature time by 10 percent.  Engage 10 percent less with people who bring you down and 10 percent more with people who lift you up.

Some areas may be more difficult than others. So if you can't part with 10 percent of your judgments or your jeans, but can easily release some of the stuff jammed in the cupboard underneath the kitchen sink, do 20 percent there. Aiming for 10 percent makes decluttering fun and do-able. And most people surprise themselves by releasing even more. If you’re in any way hesitant to release something, don't. Trust that when it’s truly time for something to let go of you, it will..

START SOMEWHERE

There is no right way to declutter. Just start somewhere and have fun with it. Here are a few strategies to try:

1. Make a daily practice, a meditation if you will, and release five things per day.

2. Set aside an hour or two and clear a clutter zone, such as the bathroom cabinet or that secret you’ve been keeping.  Or use that chunk of time for something soul-affirming, like getting back on your bike or diving into an art project.

3. Empty your clothes closet and put back only what loves you back and is worthy of coming with you in the New Year.

4. Cherry pick things that no longer speak to you, such as those worn-out pillows, or your tendency to keep score, or that third glass of wine.

5. Release 25 things each day, for seven days straight. Anything counts, whether it’s one of the many pieces of paper littering your desk, an old soccer ball from the garage, the candy you secretly consume at night, or your habit of saying “I’m sorry” too much.

Letting go can set us free in 2023.  As we declutter, we create space for new inner and outer things that are in alignment with who we really are and how we are meant to love the world.

Peggy Fitzsimmons has helped many people get their houses in order through intensive decluttering. She also is a former staff of the Omega Institute and was a consulting producer on Oprah Winfrey’s Emmy-winning TV series Super Soul Sunday. In her book Release: Create a Clutter Free and Soul Driven Life, she shares spiritual and practical insights with readers who want to free themselves from clutter and live in alignment with their true soul nature. To learn more visit peggyfitzsimmons.com.

Question from the Editor: What is one thing you're excited to let go of in 2023? We'd love to hear in the comments below!