Who

Ashley Graber, LMFT, and Maria Evans, LMFT, are nationally recognized child and family psychotherapists and parent coaches. They have trained over 8,000 psychotherapists, psychologists, counselors, and parent coaches to support children with anxiety.

What

In Raising Calm Kids in a World of Worry: Tools to Ease Anxiety and Overwhelm, Graber and Evans introduce SAFER Parenting—a simple yet powerful five-step approach designed to help children regulate emotions and build lasting self-esteem. It is a must-have guide for helping your child conquer worry, fear, and overwhelm.

Why

“Child therapy is effective because it offers kids a safe, secure place to sort through their worries. Similarly, our philosophy aims to create the same kind of calm, predicable space.”

“It ensures that your child recognizes you as an approachable and reliable figure they can depend on, no matter what they are going through.”

& We

…chose Raising Calm Kids in a World of Worry as our Get Lit pick because in addition to being beloved Open Field authors, Ashley and Maria give parents the help they need to guide their children forward with wisdom and confidence. Enjoy!

Here’s Your Exclusive Excerpt

Why Kids Worry

When a child experiences worry that won’t go away, parents feel overwhelmed and lost; they desperately want to make it better but don’t know how. We get emails and calls from parents looking for guidance nearly every day. Paige wrote, “I’m sitting in the parking lot after drop-off, typing this email. I need your help. My daughter has good friends, but she constantly worries about people liking her. I can’t convince her not to worry no matter what I say. I’m out of ideas of how to support her, and I feel her pain; I was worried as a kid, too. Please call me as soon as you can.”

A child’s anxiety takes a toll on everyone who loves them. Curtis said, “I’m reaching out because my son’s anxiety has spiraled, and we’re at a loss. It’s heart-wrenching to see him suddenly consumed by fear, obsessing over animal extinction. He’s also constantly anxious about the possibility of a school shooting. How should we respond? My partner and I are both on edge, we’ve started snapping at each other, and now we’re even short with him. This feels terrible for all of us."

As psychotherapists, we consider anxiety, especially in children, a catastrophic mental health concern. For parents, the complexities have multiplied, and the challenges have expanded beyond traditional childhood worries, making the load of anxiety a collective burden that children, like everyone else, must bear. Kids encounter daily social dynamics, academic pressures, and, of course, the omnipresence of technology.

While some children may outgrow their worries, others find them persistent. In every parenting group, anxiety and overwhelm are frequent topics of discussion. “My child seems scared of everything and now avoids going to practice, even though they live for volleyball,” says one mom. Another chimes in: “Yes, my son’s been worried for months about being expelled, even though we’ve never received a single call from school!”

The first step to helping reduce the anxiety kids carry is to learn about what’s contributing to it in the first place. As parents in our groups learn about the factors listed in this chapter, they begin connecting the dots for their own families. For instance, Ana told us, “It never occurred to me that my own stress about getting places on time is making my kid nervous.”

Together, you and your child can develop the tools necessary to navigate the anxieties of today’s world. But it starts with understanding what makes children worry. We’ll teach you how to recognize these stressors and offer strategies for support. Understanding what causes kids’ worries is no longer just beneficial— it’s essential for effective parenting.

The Worries We See and the Worries We Don’t

If your kid is afraid of spiders, you know because they squeal when they see one. You know they don’t like the dark because they ask to keep a light on. But sometimes, things you can’t see or may not have considered also cause worry. Your child might feel too embarrassed to tell you they’re being picked on at school, or they overheard a scary piece of news they’re trying to make sense of, or they’re picking up on your own stress. And sometimes, children simply have no clue what is upsetting them in the moment.

Just like when we work with parents in person, the first thing we want to do is help you understand the whole picture. So, in this chapter, we will show you how to go beyond the surface of what your child is telling you and delve into the inner workings of their thoughts and feelings, where there are things that profoundly impact their sense of calm that they can’t yet put into words.

 We should acknowledge, of course, that genetic predispositions can impact how prone kids are to developing anxiety and how intensely they experience worry. But genetics alone does not determine a child’s worry levels. Outside influences, parenting styles, family dynamics, and exposure to stressful events affect a child’s anxiety. The reality is, it’s rarely just one thing but a combination of elements that makes anxiety increase.

Fiona told us, “It never crossed my mind that my daughter would be worried about death when she was six years old.” Veronica, another mom, said to the group, “My fear of germs is clearly why my kids won’t sit down on public transportation.” To help your child most, we want you to be aware of all these contributing factors. You can actually parent differently to help reduce the anxiety they carry. Understanding the causes of their worries is the first step. Let’s get started.

From RAISING CALM KIDS IN A WORLD OF WORRY by Ashley Graber and Maria Evans, published by The Open Field, an imprint of Penguin Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House, LLC. Copyright © 2025 by Ashley Graber and Maria Evans.

Audio excerpted courtesy of Penguin Random House Audio from RAISING CALM KIDS IN A WORLD OF WORRY by Ashley Graber, LMFT and Maria Evans, LMFT; read by Ashley Graber, LMFT, Maria Evans, LMFT and Maria Shriver. © 2025 Ashley Graber and Maria Evans, ℗ 2025 Penguin Random House, LLC. All rights reserved.