Want to Learn How to Find Strength on Your Worst Days? Donna Ashworth Gives Us the Keys

"For us humans with hearts that beat, opening your phone or laptop or putting on the news can be overwhelming. But, if every single person looked at it slightly differently and saw that when we save our own mindset, protect our own heart, and look for the light, there is an energy and a vibration to that."

So says Scottish poet and author Donna Ashworth. Known for her heartfelt words that act as a torch recognizing the hard and, even more so, illuminating paths of light, Ashworth has been a beacon of hope for millions. She has a way of piercing through the pain by offering glimmers of positivity and truth. Her books, which are giant bestsellers, contain wise affirmations and poems. "The passion behind all of my books is to offer a daily habit of looking for words to bolster whatever it is you face," she tells us. "They're for when you need a seed for your mental garden that will take root and bloom."

As Ashworth releases her new book, Growing Brave, this week, we reached out to her for some seeds of hope and courage—which she generously offered. 

A CONVERSATION WITH DONNA ASHWORTH

When you face hard times or days when things feel quite heavy, how do you find strength and reach for the light?

It's a lot of things combined habitually, over time, to such a point that it becomes muscle memory. From when I was a teenager, I've always used affirmations to reset the negative chatter and keep my mental radio station tuned in on the light. Nowadays, with the internet the way it is, I tune my algorithm, both on social media and in life, to only seek out the things I know are bringing me authenticity with understanding and positivity. I'm not looking to sugarcoat everything. But if we're going to consume all the information that's offered to us on a daily basis, we need to have a balance in ways of coping.

Will you talk more about this and how you cope with the bad news surrounding us often?

We were never supposed to know all this bad news. We were only supposed to know the news of our family, our village, and perhaps that of a few towns away. Now, we have the entire world's tragedy and suffering available to us daily, but we're not taught how to cope with that. So, it's about looking for the things in life that will bring you the good stuff as well: the happy news stories and the joyful connections. If we only focus on what is wrong and what can't be done, we feel useless and helpless. And these are all very dangerous places to be. So, again, I trained my social media quite early on to look for the things that I know bring me up and to get my news in ways that are authentic and true rather than in a catastrophizing way.

This is also the same in life. It's important to start looking for the things you know will raise you up and start blocking out the things you know are dragging you down needlessly, without an end or a reason. For us humans with hearts that beat, opening your phone or laptop or putting on the news can be overwhelming. You can feel as though the suffering is so great and there's little to be done. But actually, if every single person looked at it slightly differently and saw that when we save our own mindset and protect our own heart and look for the light, there is an energy and a vibration to that. It vibrates and knocks onto your neighbor, which knocks onto their neighbor, which can become a collective force.

"Brave" is an important word and act for you. You leaned into that word at the start of 2023, which anchors your new book, Growing Brave. Considering the time we are living, what does brave mean to you?

I started with brave as a focus word. My readers and I allocate one word at the start of the year; then, we come back to that word every time we're in disarray or when things feel overwhelming. A focus word is a great mindfulness tool. It helps to bring you in the moment and cut out the mental chatter. I took the word brave last year because I needed to be practically brave to speak publicly. My books had been published and had great success, and people were asking me to come out to speak, which was never something I considered or prepared myself for. So, there was a practical element to the word brave. But then I started to think more about bravery: Why are some people brave? Why are some people afraid? Can you create bravery? Can you share it? Can you grow it? Can you give it? Can you gift it? When I started to think about this, I began to see all the very minute ways in which we're brave, and these rarely are the ways that we acknowledge or attach the word brave. We think of ourselves as brave when facing something difficult or going through great times of change, but we don't think about all the ways in which we're brave every single day. I started to see that bravery is something that can be nurtured in the way that we nurture anything in our lives. I began to look at bravery as a little plant that I could put on the windowsill, and by giving it light and nurturing it, I could grow it. It has been such a lovely journey.

As you've been on this journey, how have you seen bravery show up in your life and in others' lives? What did you start to notice?

I started to notice so many ways I'm brave that I don't give myself accountability for, and I started to see bravery existing in our day-to-day lives. I see it in how we care for each other and our friendships and relationships. I see it in how we show every single day and keep going, in how we accept ourselves and new versions of ourselves, and in how we parent our kids to be better than we were. I see it in our ability to rewrite the mistakes of the past. I see it in how we choose to do our best and constantly try and grow. So, I have seen that there are so many beautiful aspects to the word bravery and so many ways in which we're all doing it every single day.

It is brave to exist in the world that we live in now and to constantly reach for more within ourselves and outside of ourselves. Nothing requires more bravery from a soul than that journey to make yourself better and to see that, yes, you are enough, but also that there are things within you, within all of us, that need to be looked at and healed.

For those of us who want to feel braver and face this world with deeper courage, what one step or small act helps you every day?

The first step is realizing how brave you are. It's wonderful to want to be better. It's even more wonderful to see that you're already enough, have tried so hard, and have done so much. So, acknowledging all that you are, all that you have tried, and all that you have brought and shown up with is the very first step to making anything better. It's to see how much you've already done. Then, try to look at one single way you are brave right now. Once you see one way, you will start to see a cascade of other ways in which you are brave.

Remembering all that is wonderful when you want to work towards something to begin. Have the faith to take that first step, and know that there will be an unraveling, a meeting in the middle, and that a little bit of magic and miracle is always at your disposal. But you only need that little bit of bravery to start. Then the bravery fuels more bravery. So, quite literally, if you want to start something, whether it's to write a book or go for a walk, just start the act. We get caught up in preparation and wanting things to be perfect, but I've learned through this that nothing will ever be perfect. We must go ahead imperfectly, or there will be no going ahead. If you're waiting to be prepared or feel ready and to have all your ducks in a row, let your ducks go. Let your ducks run around and just begin.

Known for her inspirational poems and prose, Donna Ashworth is a Sunday Times bestselling author whose work is celebrated for its earnest exploration of themes such as womanhood, resilience, and the myriad facets of the human condition. Learn more at donnashworth.com