How to Be a Faith Explorer

It has been a couple of years since I’ve started leaning closer into my relationship with God. I’ve shared my reasons why I started researching and connecting more with my faith in past articles in The Sunday Paper. From a family cancer battle, the chaos of the pandemic, revisiting past traumas, to simply wanting to say “thank you to God,” my list can go on. My intent in talking about my church experiences has been to ignite conversations surrounding social norms, and hopefully inspire others to go on their own faith journey that works best for them. I believe God invites us to be curious and ask questions. But, he also wants us to unite, have a sense of community, love, not judge, and give back.

You might be able to relate or understand—or maybe there is a greater purpose why you are reading this article. Whatever it is, lean into that curiosity and don’t put yourself in a box because that is what everyone else is doing. God colors outside of the lines and wants us to turn over rocks and discover the goodness of life. What has changed in my life because of my relationship with God has been significant. Here are some of my own lessons learned that might bring out the faith explorer in you.

Church Shop.

Finding a welcoming and authentic church was at the top of my list. A church can often serve as a guide or familiar sense of place where you can express your beliefs to the fullest. Do your research and try out new churches in your area. Ask around, talk to other people that have been open about their experiences. It would be fantastic if you found a church in your neighborhood, but you might gravitate to a place of worship in another state that offers online services. Your search for a faith home should be enjoyable. Please do not be discouraged if you don’t find exactly what you are looking for at first. You will find one. As a married couple that has been together for 15 years, we just wanted to find a place of worship that loves everyone like Jesus does. When we did it opened up a space within our hearts that will forever feel complete.

Talk With Your Pastor.

At the beginning of trying out our new church, I started talking and emailing with my lead pastor–that was crucial. I needed to trust him. He was so understanding and kind to me when I was in such a vulnerable state. His words and sermons healed my anxiety and worries. Looking back now, trusting my pastor took down walls that cleared a path for me to trust God fully. People struggle to open up because they don’t want to be judged, but when we do, and it is respectfully received, so much good can happen. Ironically enough, I learned that my pastor’s father used to work for Mattel. Some of you might be familiar with my viral story about the toy giant. Talk about a small world! I encourage you to ask questions and have meetings with the worship leader of the church you are looking into. That leader’s role is to welcome and inspire you. Your job is to take the first step and not be afraid to have a meeting discussing topics that are heavy on your mind. This is what God wants us to do – engage, talk through challenges, and come together!

Prioritize Your Faith.

Prioritizing your faith should be right with your daily fitness routine, checking in with your spouse, friends, or ongoing work calendar. How often do you talk about faith with the people you love? How often do you reference your faith during life’s random weekly hurdles? Do one thing throughout your day where you have a moment of connection with your faith. Going to church once a week does not cut it. In fact, just going to church does not make you better than the person who never goes at all. It is about having a relationship with God, and to build that relationship, you must remember to make it consistent. The goal is to never let life deflect or push you away from your faith.

Sign Up and Serve.

Find out if your church offers opportunities to serve, volunteer, or give back to the community. This is not only fulfilling but can also play a part in explaining faith to the little ones in your life. Your church may even have staff openings or weekly tasks that could help them out significantly. Being of service brings out the best in each one of us and shines light on the support of others. I joined the welcoming team that greets people in our church. It has helped me meet new people, start conversations, and boost my sense of belonging. Your service can make the biggest difference when others are genuinely considered, can feel compassion, and are brought closer to their faith. That is the power behind being of service.

Bring Back Community.

I will never forget the deep anxiety that came over me when I drove to my first “Connect Group” at my church. My fear of being singled out as the only gay man in the room took over me. I did end up going because it challenged me and I committed to learning more about my faith community. So, I continued to go back to these groups and as each week went by, the more comfortable I became and understood that every person in the room was there because they love God. There is no space for judgment or making anyone feel less than. The whole purpose is to bring back that community support and have discussions that help us to be better. These authentic conversations have led to some new friendships. God brings people together that are supposed to be united for a reason.

Be The Change.

After months of taking time to define my relationship with God, I learned that it never stops evolving and that the change within me was going to impact different areas of my life. You begin to reevaluate what is important. Please remember that your own journey with exploring faith is a personal mission. Not everyone wants to hear about it or even care. Just be your own example and have trust with people where you feel safe. The support around you and the change you recognize within yourself will be so empowering.

I know faith is a sensitive topic and there are many serious reasons for that. Just know that I understand. It was difficult for me to find a space in this world where people understood that you could be a man of faith and also be gay. Or, that you can be a gay married couple and want to celebrate God and build a foundation of faith together. Anything counter culture that shakes up what society wants us to think will always bring chatter.

When others begin to wonder, that is when you know you just unearthed something really special.

Matt Jacobi-Caprio has been a voice of truth on various world topics such as women's rights, faith, mental health, bullying, and equality. He previously worked with international entrepreneur, Louise Mohn in the medical, real estate and fashion industry. His early career began in television where he landed his first job at ABC News in Phoenix. He later made the move to Hollywood where he worked at the celebrity news show, E! News, and he continued his on-camera career as a TV personality, starring in two reality shows. Today, he is a Chief Operating Officer for an award-winning creative agency. Jacobi-Caprio and his husband, Nick, married in May 2019. Together they created the first Barbie same-sex wedding set. Learn more at mattjacobicaprio.com.