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Looking to Make a Change? These Tips Can Help

Looking to Make a Change? These Tips Can Help

By Stacey Lindsay
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As a mental health pro who teaches her clients how to cultivate self-care, Minaa B. hears it all when it comes to pushback on making changes…even when those changes are her clients' biggest dreams for their lives. I'm too busy. What I really want is unattainable. It's too hard.

We've all been there. While the idea that we can create the life we want can be invigorating, it can also be daunting. What if the steps we need to take toward growth aren't doable? What if change evokes so much fear that we stand still?

Minaa's answer to all of these questions is simple: You can become in tune with your emotions and get clear on what's underneath all of that resistance so you feel emboldened to do what you set out to do. As she says, 'Instead of asking yourself, ‘How do I stop feeling afraid?', the real question is, ‘when I am feeling afraid, how do I continue to push forward?'”

Whether you're looking to reinvent your life or make a few healthy shifts, Minaa's tips for approaching change are insightful…and, most importantly, accessible no matter where you find yourself.

Tip #1: Get Clear on Your Fear

How do I stop having doubts about change? That is one of the most common questions Minaa fields in her practice. Her response? Take stock of what you're feeling and recognize that your emotions aren't a mandate. 'Our feelings are not factual, evidence-based information that says if you feel something, you should not do it,” says Minaa. Pausing to tap into your emotional awareness allows you to get comfortable with what you're feeling, rationalize your thought processes, and move forward with clarity. 'That fear that you have in one moment? It may just be a fear about trying something new,” she explains. It doesn't mean you shouldn't actually do that new thing…or at least give it a try.

Tip #2: Vet Your Patterns

Assessing your habits…both the ones that tend to keep you from making changes and the ones that help you follow through on what you set out to do…is crucial . Ask yourself: Which patterns bring you joy? Which ones cause you stress? Which ones make you happy? Which ones cause you harm? 'We all have habits, and sometimes we don't realize that our habits can be a form of self-sabotage,” says Minaa. 'I encourage people to pay close attention to their goals and intentions, and how their habits are moving them either closer or further away from the change they seek.”

Tip #3: Show Yourself Grace

Grace and compassion are not only deserved, they're also required for impactful change. 'Positive self-talk and empathy pushes us closer to our goals,” says Minaa. 'We do not function well under pressure or from being shamed. Negative self-talk will not lead you to living the life you want to live. Teaching yourself compassion and grace is the beginning of a new life.”

Tip #4: Know You're Capable

Change requires persistence and action, says Minaa. Acknowledging your ability…and remembering the potential that exists on the other side of change…can be incredibly motivating. 'One of the things that we have to remind ourselves of is that we are capable of doing hard things.”

To learn more about Minaa B. and her work, visit @minaa_b and minaab.com

Stacey Lindsay

Stacey Lindsay is a journalist and Senior Editor at The Sunday Paper. A former news anchor and reporter, Stacey is passionate about covering women's issues. Learn more at: staceyannlindsay.com.

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